Marriage is all about love, partnership, and sharing a life together. It’s also about navigating some of the more serious responsibilities that come with it. I’m not only an Estate Planning attorney, but also a newlywed (and a new parent — check out my blog on that topic here), and for those reasons, I can tell you that one of the best decisions you can make as a couple is to prioritize Estate Planning right from the start. I know what you might be thinking: “We’re young, healthy, and don’t have a huge estate yet.” But let me tell you, Estate Planning isn’t just for the elderly or the ultra-wealthy, it’s for anyone who wants to make sure their spouse is protected if the unexpected happens — including yourself!
And here’s the thing: if you’re a Type A planner like me, and your spouse is… well, let’s say a bit more “relaxed” about planning (my husband fits this description perfectly), you might need a little extra nudge to get started. And trust me, it’s absolutely worth it.
The Procrastination Problem (and How We Overcame It)
When my husband, Tim, and I got married, and we had all the usual newlywed excitement and *he* had all the usual newlywed procrastination. If there was a task that could wait, Tim would definitely wait. On the other hand, I’m the classic Type A personality, planning everything from our budget to our weekend schedule months in advance. My husband’s idea of tackling things like finances and paperwork is “we’ll figure it out later,” which, as you can imagine, has caused some tension in our marriage.
I’m not going to lie, even for me (yes, me, the attorney), the whole idea of Estate Planning right after our wedding wasn’t exactly at the top of my to-do list. However, I knew that if something happened to me, my husband wouldn’t be able to manage some of our finances or make any major decisions without the proper legal documents in place. And let me tell you, convincing him to tackle this wasn’t easy. But when I explained that without the right documents, he wouldn’t even be able to make decisions about some of our finances, the lightbulb went off.
Why Your Spouse Can’t Handle Your Finances Without the Right Documents
Here’s a tough truth, and it’s something that shocks nearly every couple I speak with: Even if you’re married, without a Financial Power of Attorney (FPOA), your spouse can’t legally manage finances on your behalf if you’re incapacitated. That means if you’re in the hospital or unable to manage things yourself, your husband or wife can’t access your separate bank accounts and may not even be able to handle your taxes unless they have this document in place. Without the FPOA, your spouse could be locked out of the ability to make decisions until a court process is completed. In a crisis, that’s the last thing you want to be dealing with.
What We Did (and Why You Should Too)
With my career, I’ve seen firsthand how important it is to get your legal affairs in order. However, being on the other side of it as a newlywed (and a new parent, read about that here) made me realize just how essential Estate Planning documents are. I couldn’t leave our future to chance — I needed to make sure that, if something ever happened to me, my husband could act on my behalf without a hassle.
Here’s what we did:
1. Medical Power of Attorney (MPOA): We wanted to make sure that if either of us ever becomes incapacitated and unable to make decisions, the other spouse would be able to step in immediately. No delays, no confusion, just the peace of mind that comes with knowing we’re covered. Importantly, we included instructions to help us make difficult decisions during difficult times, such as our wishes for life-sustaining treatment. I know my husband would never want to “pull the plug” on me, but I also know that’s not what I necessarily want. So, by having clear instructions in my MPOA, he doesn’t have to struggle to make that decision. Learn more about MPOAs here.
2. Financial Power of Attorney (FPOA): We wanted to make sure that if something happened to me, my husband could step in and manage things on my behalf. Without this document, he would be completely locked out of my finances. We took care of this one right away because we knew it was a safety net for us both. Learn more about FPOAs here.
3. A Will (Protecting Your Trust and Guardianship for Your Children): As a newlywed, creating a Will is essential. If you want to make sure your hard-earned assets go to the right places and that your spouse and children are protected, a Will should be one of the first things on your list.
If you have children (or plan to), (learn about being a new parent and Estate Planning HERE), a Will becomes even more important because it allows you to designate guardians for them in the event something happens to both you and your spouse.
For us, this was particularly significant. We just had our first child, so it was crucial for us to outline who would be responsible for him if we had to rely on someone else. It’s one of those things you hope never happens, but you absolutely want to be prepared for. Not even my husband wanted to delay having this in place!
And even if you don’t have children yet, a Will is still essential to ensure that your assets are passed down to your spouse or other loved ones in accordance with your wishes. Without a Will, state laws determine who gets what — and let’s be honest, you don’t want the state deciding what happens to your possessions, home, or other assets. Learn more about Wills HERE.
4. A Trust (Protecting Your Hard-Earned Assets and Building Generational Wealth): While a Will is essential, a Trust is a must! This is especially true as a young couple with a growing family and ambitions. A Trust avoids probate court, which can be time-consuming, expensive, and opens the door for your Estate to be argued over. It’s one way to ensure that your assets are distributed smoothly and privately when the time comes.
As we look toward our future, my husband and I have a strong desire to protect our assets and build wealth that will last for generations. A Trust helps with that by allowing us to pass assets down to our children or other beneficiaries without the headache of court involvement.
Beyond that, a Trust can also offer significant *tax savings* — something that’s often overlooked. By structuring your Estate Plan with a Trust, you can reduce estate taxes and maximize what gets passed on to your heirs, instead of seeing a chunk of it go to taxes. This is a great strategy for young couples who are just starting to build their wealth, and who want to make sure their hard work doesn’t get lost in the system.
If you’re planning to build generational wealth, a Trust is an incredible tool. It allows you to protect your assets and make sure that your children and their children are set up for financial success. It’s about laying the foundation now for the legacy you want to leave, even if you’re just starting out. Learn more about Trusts here.
Estate Planning: A Loving Responsibility, Not Just a Legal Task
As much as I like to have everything planned to the letter, the best part of this experience was knowing that my husband and I were doing something together. It wasn’t about checking off a list of legal documents; it was about ensuring that we were taking care of each other no matter what life throws at us. Estate Planning, at its core, is an act of love and trust, and for us, this was truly our first gift to each other as husband and wife.
For us, even though my husband is a bit (a lot!) of a procrastinator, he understood this wasn’t something that could wait. It’s part of being married: You’re not just building a life together, you’re building a future together. And a huge part of that is making sure that, in the event of a crisis, your spouse doesn’t have to face legal battles or paperwork chaos.
Don’t Wait Until it is Too Late!
So, if you’re a newlywed, and you haven’t gotten around to Estate Planning yet (or if your spouse is putting it off), I urge you to let this be your wake-up call. It doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming, but it’s absolutely necessary. If you want to protect your spouse and make sure things run smoothly if the unexpected happens, then don’t wait.
If I can get my “deal with it tomorrow” husband to get on board, I promise you can too. Take the first step — get your Estate Planning documents in place today. It’s one of the best gifts you can give to each other as you start your life together.
